Friday, May 6, 2011
Venting...BEWARE!
So today has been a rough day for me. Really I don't even know why. Pratt has just been on my last nerve and I apparently don't know how to handle it. He is so defiant lately and he's such a momma's boy that he only ever wants me which gets so frustrating! It doesn't help that I hardly see Tyson or have him to help me much. I can't blame him though. He works so hard for our family and even cleaned the house for me before he went to work tonight because he could tell how bad of a day I was having. I just feel like I shouldn't have such negative feelings towards my own child. Does anyone else ever feel this way?? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore Pratt. He is just definitely in the terrible 2 stage. Even today as I'm crying to Tyson, and I don't cry often, it takes a lot, (probably how Ty knew my day was not good), Pratt came up to me and said mommy sad? And I said yes Pratt mommy is sad. And he says it's alright. I mean really, how can you be mad at that? I think I really need more sleep. So all you mommy's out there...I'm pleading to the masses. How do you get your child to listen to you and obey? How do you get your child to sleep through the night in their own bed? And how do you keep from feeling like you're going crazy? Or am I the only one? And how do you get your child to really understand time outs because I do them and then the minute he gets out I swear he's doing that same thing again and I have to put him back in timeout. Sorry this is my journal so I vent when I feel the need. But I did warn you! I don't want to sound ungrateful either. I am so grateful to be a mom and to be a wife. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father allowing this amazing blessing in my life. I guess that's why it is so hard to admit that I feel like a failure at my job. A big old fat failure! I think I need a gallon of ice cream and a 12 hour non-stop nap! Once again sorry for the venting.
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6 comments:
I love you. First of all Jill you are NOT a bad mother. All kids at this age are hard. PLUS he is your first child and it is hard to know what to do. Just be deligent in showing him the right thing to do. Also- I know this sounds corny- but have a prayer with him each morning and ask HF to please help Pratters to be a sweet boy today. It helps. That was the last place I turned and I wish I would have figured it out earlier. Call me. I'll come get him. Love you.
Well, the first thing I want to tell you is that it's a great thing that you actually CARE about how Pratt acts and what he does. Because I know you've seen those few kids at the playground or whereever and you're thinking "how on earth are their parents ok with this?". If I had some advice for you at this age, there are 3 things.
#1- Be consistent.
#2- Pick your battles.
#3- Try your best to praise him 6 times for the good thing to 1 time of correction.
Example- If there are 3 or 4 things he does on a regular basis you want to correct, pick the one that bothers you the most and focus on that. Try your best to push the other things to the side until he masters the first behavior.
Sorry, I hope this helps. I wouldn't just offer advice like I know it all unless you asked. This is what worked best for me but every child is different and it is a trial and error process:) Good luck! Email me if you have any questions- jakeychucky@gmail.com
We all feel like horrible parents at times....I feel like that quite often. It is hard to get kids to listen and it only gets worse (sorry to break it to ya) but catch him now and I bet he won't get to bad....just keep being consistant and firm...they crave that. He will get it. (sorry probably not much help)
Hey Jake I need an invite to your blog! Kokat1978@hotmail.com thanks!!
Two is a really hard age. Especially with your first. I remember with my first I was WAY more stressed about his two year old behavior, than I am now with my second. The thing you have to keep telling yourself is it's just a stage. It WILL pass. I realize this now after experiencing it a second time. I feel horrible about the way I reacted to him sometimes, because I know now it was just a stage. I lost my cool way too often. Something that helps is to take a look at all the other two year old's around you. I bet you anything, a lot of them are doing the same things Pratt is doing. It's just how they learn and develop, how they handle their emotions. Ella is the same age as Pratt and is seriously trying my patience right now!! But it's so much easier knowing that Porter went through the same thing, and one day, it just magically started getting better. So I just tell myself to take a breath and enjoy all the fun things about the age. I do think that structure really helps. Organized activities can help break up the day. I started doing a lot more of that at this age. Simple games, coloring, painting, playdoh, puzzles. I find if I can fill the day with stuff like this, it helps them stay out of trouble. Oh! And I also find that when Ella is at her worst, a simple snack solves the problem. She will be a melting, screaming, out of control mess, if I can get her to eat some crackers and drink some milk, she turns into a totally different child. Oh and Ella is having a hard time sleeping at night too. She wakes up a few times crying. Porter did at this age too. We could never figure out what the deal was. One day Porter just stopped, so I'm hoping Ella will do the same!
Lots of random stuff but I hope this helps! I wish I knew with my first what I know now! Try your hardest to not sweat the small stuff. Think about how much they change from newborn to 1, and 1 to 2. They change equally as much from 2 to 3, and 3 to 4. It's amazing. SO MUCH TIME TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT! You are NOT a bad Mom, we all go through this!
Jill, Just so you know every mother had days, weeks and/or months where they feel like the worst mother. I feel like I am the mean parent. Russ comes home and the girls run to him and they get to play with him while I make dinner and still clean up after them. But just know that you are a great mom. Pratt loves you so much.
I use time out with my girls. I put them on and have them on there for the amount of time per their age. When they are done I ask them why they were in time out. Then I have them say sorry and give me hugs and then I tell them that I love them Yes I got all this from Super Nanny. Another things to think about that I had to remember was there are times you feel like you aren't getting through to them you have to tell them over and over don't do that don't do that, But isn't that what Heavenly Father has to do with us? Aren't we just like defiant kids at times? Don't we have to be reminded over and over to be loving to others, to read our scriptures... to not judge. We are still learning. Just love him and be consistent. You are a great mom. Don't ever think any less of yourself.
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